It's 9:09, and I'm just getting to blogging.
I just went from having a great night and leaving so filled with the Holy Spirit to feeling like I'm going to crash.
However, the best part of the night class for me was making a table of sophomores recognize how a)funny I am and b)how much Jesus loves them. Ok, scratch the first part. But for the record, I did get them to laugh! In fact, I spent a lot of time at their small group simply because the parent volunteer felt like she was unable to get the deeper understanding of the bible story that their group had. They said my questions and the way I walked them through the entire passage made the overall message/prophecy "make so much more sense" and now it actually "means something to me." Wow. All it took was a few minutes to go through the passage, ask them questions, and get them to discover the answer.
Then I spent time just talking to them, getting to know then, and I would say I could name about 15 of their names out of the 64!
Another highlight was seeing my small group from last week and having them asking if I could lead their group again "because you make the discussions more interesting and fun....and nowI actually understand what this is about...and you're really great!" All from the mouth of a 16 year old.
And then I wrapped it all up and I thought I was going to get all charismatic on them. I don't even have the gift of tongues, but I could just overwhelmingly feel the Holy Spirit's presence and it seemed as though I was looking out not into a room full of teenagers, but a room full of beautiful souls. Souls that are destined to be in relationship with God. A relationship far better than the person that we are even most loved by on this earth!
I don't know, I just wish I had more people that I could share my experiences with. I miss Loras. I miss having my closest friends no more than a 10 minute walk away from me. I miss having a group of people that don't just acknowledge how good I can "teach" but who actually know me- my life, my desires, my struggles, my gifts- all of me. And I always bring myself back to this- that's what God is for. He is the one that I should desire to be acknowledged by. And I do, I just really miss having a community. It's hard when you work so close with someone that never compliments you and never asks how you're doing. Someone that could really care less about my well-being. I know that I am loved and recognized by the community, however, that can only go so far because they are not my friends. I have no friends here. However, I am immensely grateful for my roommate, a classmate of mine from Loras who can understand where I'm coming from and can share in this feeling.
God really has blessed me and I know I'm supposed to be here right now. I just wish that I could remember that I need to go to God to be truly satisfied.
Sorry if none of this made any sense- this feels more like a journal entry than a blog tonight.
God bless you!
No comments:
Post a Comment