Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Day 38, Wednesday

It's 9:09, and I'm just getting to blogging.  

I just went from having a great night and leaving so filled with the Holy Spirit to feeling like I'm going to crash.  

However, the best part of the night class for me was making a table of sophomores recognize how a)funny I am and b)how much Jesus loves them. Ok, scratch the first part.  But for the record, I did get them to laugh!  In fact, I spent a lot of time at their small group simply because the parent volunteer felt like she was unable to get the deeper understanding of the bible story that their group had.  They said my questions and the way I walked them through the entire passage made the overall message/prophecy "make so much more sense" and now it actually "means something to me."  Wow.  All it took was a few minutes to go through the passage, ask them questions, and get them to discover the answer.  

Then I spent time just talking to them, getting to know then, and I would say I could name about 15 of their names out of the 64!  

Another highlight was seeing my small group from last week and having them asking if I could lead their group again "because you make the discussions more interesting and fun....and nowI actually understand what this is about...and you're really great!"  All from the mouth of a 16 year old.  

And then I wrapped it all up and I thought I was going to get all charismatic on them.  I don't even have the gift of tongues, but I could just overwhelmingly feel the  Holy Spirit's presence and it seemed as though I was looking out not into a room full of teenagers, but a room full of beautiful souls.  Souls that are destined to be in relationship with God.  A relationship far better than the person that we are even most loved by on this earth!  

I don't know, I just wish I had more people that I could share my experiences with.  I miss Loras.  I miss having my closest friends no more than a 10 minute walk away from me.  I miss having a group of people that don't just acknowledge how good I can "teach" but who actually know me- my life, my desires, my struggles, my gifts- all of me.  And I always bring myself back to this- that's what God is for.  He is the one that I should desire to be acknowledged by.  And I do, I just really miss having a community.  It's hard when you work so close with someone that never compliments you and never asks how you're doing.  Someone that could really care less about my well-being.  I know that I am loved and recognized by the community, however, that can only go so far because they are not my friends.  I have no friends here.  However, I am immensely grateful for my roommate, a classmate of mine from Loras who can understand where I'm coming from and can share in this feeling.  

God really has blessed me and I know I'm supposed to be here right now.  I just wish that I could remember that I need to go to God to be truly satisfied.

Sorry if none of this made any sense- this feels more like a journal entry than a blog tonight.  

God bless you!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Day 37, Tuesday

I really need to start writing my blogs earlier, because my biggest fan, Mom, goes to bed much earlier...and to be completely honest, I am finding that as a teacher, I feel like I could sleep through the night if I crawled into bed at 4:30pm.  No joke.  And I'm 22.  So, I'll start to blog early to be more detailed.

This morning had a really interesting start.  I set my alarm for an hour earlier than I normally wake up to make it to mass, but I did not succeed in the heroic minute, and I set my alarm for another hour.  It was hard enough to do that while trying to keep my eye-yes, my eye open.  Mornings have always been hard for me, even when I get 8 hours of sleep!  Well to top that all off, I got a ton of shampoo into my left eye, and then I really couldn't keep it open.  Don't worry, I was eventually  brave enough to put in my contacts and move on with my morning.  Then, I decided to eat breakfast (Aunt Dede's delicious cinnamon bread-toasted, of course) and ended up choking on that!  I finally brought the garbage bag down because Tuesday mornings are garbage pick up, then set off on my bike, praying that I wouldn't fall of that!  I mean, I though anything crazy was possible after the struggles of my morning thus far.  Thankfully, I made it to school in one piece and without any issues!

Class was wonderful- we analyzed a number of moral dilemmas including Lawrence Kohlberg's "Heinz Dilemma" which should be familiar to any of you psychology people/ people that took or are currently taking Dr. Shadle's Christian Morality class.  Before going into that, we went through the sources of morality as stated in the Catechism- object, intent, and circumstance.  Main points, something bad can never be good, but something good can become bad.  Like I said, I'm tired, and not interested in going into all of that.  If you must know, take our your catechism or google CCC 1750-1756 :)  My students definitely appreciate the YouCat because it is translated into more common words, but it's the same info!  To sum up class, they were really making connections and did a great job connecting today's lesson into moral dilemmas- scripted scenarios and ones that I made up on the spot.  Morality is what we ought to do and who we ought to be....and sometimes our actions do not always match up with what we should do....but Jesus is merciful and awaits us.  Allow your good shame guide you back to Jesus.  His forgiveness and love is endless!  

Tonight it Bible Study, the topic we covered was shame.  And I recognized some bad shame I've been carrying around- the kind that doesn't help you guide your conscience or protect your values.  I'm talking about the shame that has no good reason, the shame that runs from God's blessings and in realizing how our dignity lies in Him.  The kind that we take on because we allow someone or multiple people to make us feel bad about ourselves without good reason.  And my friends, I forgot about those wounds until I was reminded of them as we dived into scripture tonight as a group.  Here is a beautiful prayer if any of you are reading this and have or are experiencing bad shame:

Dear Lord,

You created mankind in your image, you deemed it "very good."  Help me to recognize that this is true today in my life, and that you see me as valuable and worthy of love just becauase I am.  I offer you all the hurtful, negative words and deeds that have been aimed at me and which have shaped a view of myself that is contrary to yours.  Take my offering and create something beautiful in me, your beloved child.

Amen.

And for all of you experiencing good shame, run to our Lord!  "Listen to shame but don't live there."

Please know of my prayers for all of you, especially my Grandma Nancy and my little cousin Matthew.  I'm telling you, us Martini Family members are some tough people!  

May God continue to love and watch over all of you.

"His eye is on the sparrow and I know He is watching me!"

Monday, October 7, 2013

Day 36, Monday


"Some things I cannot change, but 'til I try, I'll never know!"


I am currently singing along to the "Wicked" soundtrack with my roommate, so I have a feeling this post may be more brief than most because this is too fun.

Today, I told my students that today was the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary/Victory.  Of course, I talked about rosary for a bit, how awesome Mama Mary is, and we prayed a decade of the rosary for our personal intentions.  

Then we read a couple of articles from "The Witness"-The Archdiocese of Dubuque's newspaper.  Both had to do with Pope Francis and Morality.  Man, I love how awesome he is!  He is all about showing love and mercy towards those who show favor towards grave sins or people who have taken part in these: (abortion, contraceptive methods, etc.)  The pope talks about how we need to focus on Jesus' teaching and his approach: LOVE and MERCY.  Sorry, talking down to people is not going to get them to change their hearts.  Introducing them to Jesus' love and mercy through our love and mercy will.  

Then we moved onto another objective which we covered mostly during the sacrament of Reconciliation-just added how forgiveness will ultimately lead to happiness.  We are only happy until we are completely satisfied with God.  Here's a beautiful quotations from Bl. JP2 that I posted as a status last night:

"It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.

It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal."  -Bl. John Paul II



Lastly, a few of my students told me about our pastor's homily yesterday about how he said he would be willing to do a monthly Sunday youth mass if students came forward and asked him.  I told them that the hardest part is over- getting approval and someone willing to say an evening mass with a homily directed towards the youth.  And I even told them that I'd be willing to help them organize it with our pastor.  The fact that they have 2 adults that will make this happen makes this a piece of cake.  I'm going to make sure this happens! Although, when we started chatting more about logistics and stuff, one of them said, "Well, it might not even be worth it.  It will probably just be the few of us who want it in the first place."  I made sure to tell this student that we need to always welcome more into our church and we never know how the Holy Spirit may inspire one or 50, or 100 of their classmates or friends to join us once a month for a Sunday night youth mass.  We'll see!  Please pray for this.

Please know of my prayers for all of you.  Allow yourself to be satisfied with God.  He is EVERYTHING!


Friday, October 4, 2013

Day 35

Today is the day...HOMECOMING FOOTBALL GAME TONIGHT!  Classes were super short due to the Homecoming Olympics and Parade!  Thankfully it stopped raining so the parade should still be on for 2pm!  Today's dress was spirit wear so we were very orange and black. 

I figured we wouldn't get much done, and when my students came in saying their teachers were just playing games today, I figured we could have a day somewhat "off."  However, we did touch on one of the objectives having to do with the notion that human life is sacred "from the womb to the tomb!" 

Well, in my first class, I had the start of a slideshow on a person's development in the womb month by month up until birth. 

This was pretty funny- my students thought I was trying to tell them something...because I had it up before class even start so they saw it when they walked in and on the side it says, "You're pregnant. Congratulations! Are you curious how big your developing baby is, what your baby looks like as it grows inside you, and when you'll feel it move? Take a peek inside the womb to see how a baby develops from month to month."  So one brave soul hesitantly said, "Miss Sexton, uh...are you?...are you trying to tell us something?"  I looked at her kind of confused and realized what she meant!  She thought I was announcing that I was pregnant!  Which is why she was very confused being that I'm young, single, and not married.  We had fun laughing about that.  Glad I stopped that rumor from forming!  Here's the link to the slideshow we looked at: http://www.webmd.com/baby/ss/slideshow-fetal-development

Then I got into the objective, quoted Jeremiah 1:5 how God knows us even before we are born!  He has willed each of us into existence.   

Then we got into a wonderful discussion on the miracle of life and how blessed we really are.  It was great!

They are very excited to throw candy at me at the parade and to see me at the game tonight.  And, lucky me, my aunt and mom are on their way to visit me! 

I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!
St. Francis, pray for us!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Day 34

"Miss Sexton, WHAT did you do?!?"  was the first thing that came out of the mouth of one of my students after my first class unsuccessfully tried to sneak in and scare me.  (I was just about to meet them at my door so once again, they were not able to startle me.)



This is why they were startled.  The room looked a little different because I rearranged their seating.  I thought it would be better with having discussions all together at one table.  I thought we had a round table in storage but when I looked there wasn't one to be found.  So, I made use of what we have.  And here we are.  They really liked sitting all together and I thought our class flowed pretty well.  They seemed more comfortable discussing things with one another this way and I noticed less side conversations.  

The back wall has the 2 extra tables which will hold the supplies they may or may not need for class.  I'll just have them get what they need when they need it.

This is just another look at our classroom.  I really like it!  

Oh, today's theme for Homecoming was Thrift Shop day.  I truly felt like Macklemore riding my bike looking ridiculous.  Just check out the music video to his song "Thrift Shop" if you aren't familiar.  

Today we discussed what our consciences are and the difference between virtues and vices.  We even got into natural law, the old/new law, Church law, and divine law.  (We got that far in the first class and my second class will need to catch up to the definitions/explanations on the different types of laws.

I don't know why, but I found myself shocked being asked to explain what's going on with the government.  Oh boy.  After my Facebook status fiasco, I thought I was being recorded or something.  However, I very honestly told them what was happening.  I did my best talking as a reporter rather than someone with an opinion.  I opened by saying that as a Catholic teacher, I am here to only speak on what the Church teaches.  The Church does not associate with any political party, therefore, you most decide what you believe with a well-formed conscience.  I asked them to refrain from asking me my opinion and they respected that.   To see the concern and to hear their comments, I thought, ok, if these 16 year olds can see that something is wrong with the way congress is acting and the effects of this shutdown....Anyway, these were some of their thoughts after projecting an article from CNN:

"So basically a small amount of people are throwing a temper tantrum like 2-year olds?"
"Really, that's what this is all about?"
"Can you do that over something that's already a law?"
"I can't wait to learn more when I take my government class."
"Wait, so the tea-partiers, that's a real thing?"

As a teacher, they trust me.  They trust me with their comments and their questions.  It was amazing to hear the way they were opening up.  I think it had to do with getting to know them for what, 6 weeks now and with the way we were sitting.  I really do.  They asked each other questions and they were so respectful towards one another.  Nothing new, but you never know once politics come up in a classroom.  

Thanks again for all of you who are praying for my students and I.  The Holy Spirit is truly at work and I am excited to see what tomorrow brings us.

God bless you and keep you.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Day 33

Happy Feast of Guardian Angels!

Today was Hallway day, and the juniors decorated their hallway as "New York."  Therefore, I dressed as a business professional wearing a black dress, heals, and my pearl earrings and necklaces.  One of my other students interpreted it like that too, so we were dressed very similarly.  It was fun to get extra dressed up for teaching!

To start off class, after prayer, I gave my students time to plan/create/practice a skit based on one of the beatitudes.  I was quite impressed how all of my students really got into the skits!  Sometimes you get a teen that's "too cool" or just wants to play a tree or something like that.  I let them go to the couch room and while they were doing that for about 15 minutes, I read up on the pope, because what else would a pope-loving Catholic do in their 15 minutes of spare time?

I woke up from a very realistic dream this morning.  I found myself in Rome thinking I was in line to get into St. Peter's basilica.  It was early in the morning, the sun was just starting to rise, and it was cool, but not uncomfortably so.  As I got to the part where I'd have them check my bag and walk through the security scanner, there he was, Pope Francis, ready to great me with open arms!  He took a few minutes to talk with me and welcome me to the Vatican.  I could not believe I hadn't noticed him, or the excitement of the people in front of me.  Once I faced forward, I saw him, and out of human nature, turned around and asked the people behind me if they knew Pope Francis was there all along.  The person behind me happened to be one of my students and her father (at least what my dream presented as her father).  Today was the first morning in a long time where getting up to my alarm was not a struggle.  Perhaps it had something to do with the dream.  I look forward to teaching but waking up early has never been a strong point for me. 

Further analyzing my dream, maybe I didn't recognize the Pope waiting for me because I was too busy looking around, glancing at the statues, looking at the top of the basilica, catching a glimpse of the pope's apartment window, and other common things one would look at being there.  It was very accurate because I have been to the Vatican before.  Sometimes dreams misconstrued a place that we are familiar with.  This was spot on!  The things surrounding us are not necessarily bad, but sometimes we focus on the material things and loose focus of Jesus. 

When do I loose focus of Jesus in my life? Is he really at the center?  Maybe these are questions you need to ask yourself.  I'm asking them because I cannot get this wonderful dream out of my head.  I also can't understand why I didn't notice the excitement of the people ahead of me.  It's not every day that you get to casually chat with the pope or be in his very presence.  Our lives should be focused on our destination, which is heaven.  Is Jesus the one I/you are seeking?  Am I/you all in? 

Going back to the skits, each class presented one.  The first class based their skit off of this beatitude: "Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Mt. 5:10)  The other class did theirs based off of "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God" (Mt. 5:9).

Ultimately, how happiness lies entirely in God.  God is the one who we search for, who quenches our thirst for love.  We can only catch a glimpse of this love here on earth.  Our reward for living moral/Catholic lives is in heaven.  Jesus does not promise us that people will love us for doing what is right and moral.  It's a good way to gain enemies today and a few true friends.  I hate to think of society as an us vs. them kind of thing, but there are so many issues that we are split on as a society: premarital sex, contraception for the purpose of preventing a child, abortion, same-sex marriage, etc.  It's complete insanity that half if not more of people in our country alone is ok with these things.  Why?  "Because they make us happy."  No.  Just....no.  Before this turns into an annoying rant, I'll go to the scripture. 

Eve eats a piece of fruit that she isn't supposed to.  But that can't be too bad, right?  Well, it is because God told her not to do it.  What did she do?  She ate it.  Where does that leave us?  Concupiscence.  Disordered desire.  Sin.  Suffering.  Things that make it really hard for us to experience joy. 

God knows his creation.  He is our creator.  He knows what's good for us.  He alone can provide us with the love we need, and through Him we can live in right relationship with Him, our neighbor, and the rest of creation.  That isn't to say that material possessions are bad. It's when we over-indulge.  When we use things for our own selfish motives.

So far our morality classes have been pretty chill.  We haven't gotten into any heated discussions and they haven't have too many questions yet.  We defined morality as:

Knowledge based on human experience, reason, and God's revelation that discovers what we ought to be and what we ought to do to live fully human lives.  In other words, we can come to know how we should act and who we are as people because it has been revealed to us.  In other words, morality is being responsible to God and others. 

So that's the goal.  To live good and moral lives.  I don't know of institutions that wouldn't support that statement, however, how people interpret that can be pretty interesting.

Tomorrow we will dive into what our conscience is and the difference between vices and virtues. 

Tonight's class is all on Salvation History aka the greatest love story of all time!  (God's love for us.) 

Have a lovely afternoon!





Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Day 32

I missed a few days of posting... rather than trying to go back and think of what we did, I'll let you trust that they were good days : )

Here are some new additions to our classroom:

I needed a quote wall, so some of us put up our favorite quotes.


We made posters showing what makes us happy.  
Objective: God desires our happiness on earth and eternal life with Him.  The happiness we experience here is only a foretaste of eternal happiness with God.  WHOA!  (I tried my best to cover up the back wall.  :p)


It is homecoming week and that means everyone is a little squirlier than normal.  It's been fun!

So the theme is "Beat the Cards!"  They are playing the Cardinals on Friday.  Let's go Hawks!

One of my students won the button decorating contest!  Check it out!:



Here are the theme days so far:

Monday: PJs
Today: Superhero day- this girl dressed like the Hulk.  Forgetting it was one of my student's birthdays today, I hopped on my bike and pedaled to the grocery store to pick up Oreos.  You should have seen some of the looks I was getting.  All for the birthday girl!  They were all very happy about the treat.  

We really focussed on the Beatitudes today which was great.  Tomorrow they will be bring the Beatitudes by acting out skits.  I'm looking forward to that!

Thanks for all of your prayers.  I know they are really helping.  My life has been filled with so much joy and I know I'm doing what God has called me to do this school year. 

Love and miss everybody!